And she was all of it. When she died, I boasted zero regrets. I had been there, chauffeuring her around in her last months, even holding her hand in her final The Grinch Starbuck Admit It Now Working At Would Be Boring Without Me Shirt . I had left everything on the table, or so I’d thought. It took me almost 3.5 years to understand that that probably wasn’t true. Degradation and death are ugly and painful. To claim otherwise is likely fiction, but we do it to cope. I certainly did. I found ways to feel secure by boiling down the messy truth into a coherent, Spielberg-worthy script. One that family and friends would eat up: a sensical, life-affirming story of a mother and daughter separated by premature death.
I never believed in all that fairy tale shit. Ever. Even as a young girl. I never dreamed of “Prince Charming”, or having a happy ending. I never liked the crap that Disney shoved down our The Grinch Starbuck Admit It Now Working At Would Be Boring Without Me Shirt , especially, that princess bullshit. I’m not cynical, just realistic. As the years went by, finding a “Prince Charming” was still not on my to do list. I pretty much knew that finding a happy ending, with a man, was not in the cards for me. Nope, I was forever alone. Yay! No, really.
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Yes! After the relationship with my baby mama ended I had no desire to be in a The Grinch Starbuck Admit It Now Working At Would Be Boring Without Me Shirt or be in love. I was incapable of falling in love for the longest time. Until she came along. First it started as talking in a casual setting. After 6 months of talking and deep conversation, we had a one on one at my house. She was much different one on one. We fell in love and couldn’t resist each other. Under the circumstances our relationship was unconventional. But we loved each other. Every couple argues. Every couple has problems thats inevitable. You must work through it. It’s never easy.
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